


TLYS Interlude: July 2008

by ficamaze



Series: The Less You'll See [3]
Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficamaze/pseuds/ficamaze
Summary: I will say your name a hundred thousand times more if it meant bringing you back. I will perfect every possible magic trick and illusion in this world if it meant never losing you. Because God knows, I never wanted to lose you, of all people and things in this fucking world. Because God knows, more than anything, I want you back. I can’t even begin to explain just how much I do.





	TLYS Interlude: July 2008

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, world! For those following my previous stories – sorry again for the unexpected hiatus. My husband and I were grappling with a tragedy of our own – unfortunately, we lost our would-have-been-first baby, and writing (doing anything else, really) has been very difficult. Trying this out again in case it provides some therapeutic value (I think it will), so please bear with me as I try to find the right voice for our boys again.
> 
> I’m still struggling to continue the stories I’ve left unfinished, but rest assured, I have not and will not abandon our boys. For now, I’m putting out this little thing – some words I wrote originally for our lost baby, but for purposes of this story, edited slightly from Danny’s perspective after he thought he lost Jack. I’ll call it the lost and unsent letter, something that he shared with no one, something that he probably burned right after writing. Of course, this adds no value to the story. Let me know if you want to see any more interludes here.
> 
> The usual disclaimers:  
> 1\. This is primarily a Lover’s Death story.  
> 2\. I do not own anyone (i.e., characters, etc) or anything (i.e., lines, scenes, concepts, etc) from the Now You See Me series. Absolutely no copyright infringement intended.  
> 3\. Some events in this story are inspired by own experiences (in this case – ALL events), and should you see yourself in the story, high-five to you, but that was not my intention.

**JULY 2008:  
THE WORDS UNSENT**

I don’t know many people I care about in this life, but the few I know have been telling me the same things.

Be strong.

He’s in a better place.

He’s watching over you now.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

_Oh._

The last one really gets me, probably because it’s the most real and accurate of all possible reactions.

_Oh._

Because really, how do I even get around responding to any of the boneheaded words people are throwing around? But truth be told, I don’t know what I want to even hear – maybe nothing at all, because to be fair to everyone we knew, it’s “damn if they do, damn if they don’t” whenever they decide to say a word to me. It’s the classic case of “it’s not you, it’s me”, and I’d love to fault them for everything they try to do and say.

It’s been a few weeks now, and you’re all I think about still. I don’t know when I’ll stop, but I suspect it won’t be anytime soon. I don’t know when I first loved you, when I first fell in love with you, which came first, which matters more – does it really matter? I did, and that’s all I know. Henley is telling me to not think of you as someone we lost, but someone we found helped us be better people or some shit like that. I’m trying, but it doesn’t work like that, you know? You existed for so much more than just my sense of purpose and being. You were far too incredible for me to assign my essence to you, and yet you came and helped me out with it, anyway.

When we first met, you showed me not only what it was like to have a friend, but to be a friend. And when you allowed me to enter your life as much more than a friend, it’s like everything I could be was elevated into something else altogether. I wasn’t just “me”, the weird magic kid who had no friends and no sense of social skills. I was a lover, something I never believed I could be, but more importantly, I was your lover, something I could only ever wish to be, from the moment I conceptualized you in my mind. This body, this mind, this heart, was that of Jack Wilder’s lover, and while you lived, it had such an amazing purpose, a warming balm of life in the middle of the deadliest winter. Now? Oh, boy. Where should I even start?

You know what, I won’t even. I can’t.

Everyone is saying that it’s normal to pine for you once in a while. I’m wondering if it’s normal to pine for you every single second that you aren’t here with me. You should know how hard I’m trying to keep a rational head on my shoulders, saying all those things that people think will give me some comfort, but the truth is, every bit of me is screaming at the injustice of it all. You were _stolen_ , you were _taken_ , you were _lost_ to me, you were _mine_. I had you for the glory of a few short months, and now, you will always have me, but I can never hope to have you again.

Where, dear God, is the justice in that?

You and I were supposed to be in this for the love of it – I was never supposed to lose you to magic, of all things. Yet, lost you, I did. I’m left with the first thing that brought us together, and the very thing that took you from me, and I don’t know where to even begin with myself. Where there was the warmth of your body with mine at night, there is now a cold emptiness I cannot hope to fill. I still remember the sound of your voice, the map on your body, the light in your eyes, but I don’t know if I always will. Will you sink into the deeper recesses of my memory, I wonder, and become an abstraction? Will I talk about you as you were, or as how my stupid mind can barely remember you?

I will say your name a hundred thousand times more if it meant bringing you back. I will perfect every possible magic trick and illusion in this world if it meant never losing you. Because God knows, I never wanted to lose you, of all people and things in this fucking world. Because God knows, more than anything, I want you back. I can’t even begin to explain just how much I do.

I don’t even know how to end this.

Come back to me.

I wish you were still here.

Tell me this is all a dream, and when I wake up, you’re here.

You know I need you. How dare you leave me here.

_Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack_

I hope they’re right about you. About where you are, about what you’re doing, about how you’re watching over me, about maybe how we can be together again. I really hope they are, even if it’s all just a bunch of crap. It’s all I can hope for now that you’re gone.


End file.
